a few old notes

here are a few poetical notes I had written here and there :)
it’s in order newest to oldest, so u might want to scroll down and read from the bottom of this post

the crisp wind blows gliding along my cheeks, blowing my long hair into the wind. making my dress flow against the sand. i feel the sand under my feet, between my painted pale sea blue, unbalanced yet perfectly balanced. i take it all in and i am brought back... to my first steps this far there the waves are slight, real, and soothing, and the aroma of the sea flows through the air. and i walk in the sand aloof from him, trying to conquer the hilly sand. as we get closer to the water, we walk closer. he and i walk into the ocean, almost together. i look down at my feet as i step into my new life, my dream. the water foamed tide pushing over my feet, the moist ocean floor so cool and nice under my soles. i take my first few steps, then look back up and walk deeper. i start to lose my balance and conquer it again. something so wonderful yet i struggle to make it, and there he is, to my side in front of me, reaching out toward me, time freezes and and something speaks to me... to remember the moment forevermore, it said, "go, fulfill your dreams, let your story continue brighter, and cherish love forever..." and i reach out as i step closer to him, and i take his hand, and he takes mine in his, we smile, and walk on closer, together.
-let us journey together, hand in hand, no longer your story and mine, but from this moment on, "Our Journey"-by Destiny Toler
"i took a long nap today in the sunshine across my bed. i began to smell his cool skin's natural scent from when i would lay my head upon his arm. I felt safe, and not so alone anymore. i felt my heart's glow and pace. i dreamt and felt his presence beside me smiling at me curled up sleeping, and i felt a cool wind graze my arms, then i felt his silky skin's touch as he placed something cool yet warm over me and we smiled, even i through such sweet slumber. i smelled the summer-spring mixed air, the earth's essences and blades of grass between my fingers and bare blue toes. i dreamt us relaxing in the grass sprinkled with small growing white flowers and clover patches with few tuffs of it's blossoms. the air was cool yet the sun was warm and it shined upon our cheeks, and glistened off our eyes. i looked up at him gazing smiling into the sky as if he were praying, his aura glowed brightly, and i coulda sworn his eyes were watered with his smile, i smiled brightly at him, and when he closed his eyes and noded in the obscure direction, and he turned and looked at me, i shy-ed, blushed, and turned my head, but soon found myself gazing into his eyes again. he reached to me and pushed my hair behind my ears and smiled, i felt a happy tear start to roll down my cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb, and i lay back down beside him on his knees in the grass and rested my eyes, as i dozed i heard his voice whisper thos old famous words he used to tell me everyday... "Soon Destiny, soon..."
i then awoke in my bed again, with his jacket over me like a blanket, bittersweet tears began to flow gently for my longing heart and soul aching to be with my love again. missing him more that usual."
a snippet of my story- For My Angel ♥
another excerpt from my book to be written: "in my dream land once again, cold chills wake me and a vision flashes in my head of the window open, with white veil curtains blowing into my room, the moonlight shining through and the aroma of the Mississippi magnolias fill the night air. the vision vanishes in seconds. still in my dream land, i cautiously pull away my covers and slip out of his protective jacket. i'm aware of the bell clings of the rings around my neck and my eyes widen, staring at the closed window. i look around for my cat, she's asleep. i thought it was best to take her out of my room. as i close the door behind her i again feel a cold breeze from the direction of the window. something draws me near... curiosity?...wonder?...fate?... I approach my window and slowly open my blinds to see the beautiful calm night sky. I open the window and feel the crisp, cool fresh air. curiously i scavenge for a way and carefully take out the screen to begin to crawl out. suddenly i'm in a flowing moon-pale dress the color of a lunar moth. i sit at the ledge of my isolated roof once more, dangling my bare feet over the edge. i let down my long hair into the wind, now opposite;flowing into the night sky. the lonely magnolia tree glistens like a dark emerald, attracting my glare. the violet and white flowers wave at me in the wind. its stunningly beautiful outside... suddenly i'm slightly thrown out of my trance, sensing something, or someone, watching me, gazing into my silvery eyes. could it be my angel again...? dare i look and ruin the surprise...? I feel safe as he lands aside me, and feathers glide over my shoulders and my back. warm and comfortable as always with him, i again rest my head against his arm as he protects me with his soft and almost invisible wing. safe again, i nap with my prince ♥
Later i awake in my bed, in his jacket still, and my eyes immediately draw to the feather on my bed sil, almost glowing in the dark of the now warm room..."
this sea salt spray i use on my hair and skin reminds me of wonderful times at the beaches at home, by the docks, mostly the one with the snowcone stall, where the smell of the ocean is crisp and there. and my toenail polish reminds me of it too, my bare feet indulging in the soft wet sandy mud of the shore as my toes are thinly blanketed by the sea's lightly foamed mini waves. it all brings me back...oh how i miss the docks and that bit of beach and ocean, the piggyback rides to the dock, the titanic moments in the wind at its edge, being held and carried through the water as i melt and relax. ahh how i miss it all... my sanctuary :)
got back from a long trip, haven't been in my own room in days, it seems warmer, nice, comforting, like the presence i love and miss so... im cleaning my room and keep catching myself glancing at the window. i empty out a box and pack it with gifts, a puzzle with white tiger, cub, a snowfox family, and others in a haven, i pack a surprise for a younger then for my dear some purple silver and violet stones that remind me of his aura and for some reason his dark alluring eyes. feel warmth, Lizzy paws at the blinds so i open them and return to the box, i leave for tape and paper and address, and when i return to my window, now open, there on the sil lay a single off white feather, with a blue-ish hue ridge.
my angel used to tell me "no tears, only happiness"
i smiled with watery eyes and replied, "but... you bring me tears of love-filled joy."

<3

 

I love when my boo suggests songs to me. this is the best one yet! he is my everything <3 I know every girl wants someone like this song, someone who loves you purely, truly, un-measurable, unconditionally, and always <3 I’m so lucky to have my prince, and I look forward to being with him again, all you girls out there I hope you all find your perfect prince one day.

 

http://pl.st/s/782147601

to my prince in case he’s reading this

forever can never be long enough for me to feel like i've had enough with you ♥

I love you honey

 

iv been thinking of him more and more lately. in other words, permit test saturday, study study study. robotec international championship in st louis again coming up soon and Code Lyoko theme in my head >.< still awesome. bout to listen to my boo’s piano recordings again and watch fruits basket again <3 or watch mor Scishow on youtube 8]

another excerpt from my book to be written:

"in my dream land once again, cold chills wake me and a vision flashes in my head of the window open, with white veil curtains blowing into my room, the moonlight shining through and the aroma of the Mississippi magnolias fill the night air. the vision vanishes in seconds. still in my dream land, i cautiously pull away my covers and slip out of his protective jacket. i'm aware of the bell clings of the rings around my neck and my eyes widen, staring at the closed window. i look around for my cat, she's asleep. i thought it was best to take her out of my room. as i close the door behind her i again feel a cold breeze from the direction of the window. something draws me near... curiosity?...wonder?...fate?... I approach my window and slowly open my blinds to see the beautiful calm night sky. I open the window and feel the crisp, cool fresh air. curiously i scavenge for a way and carefully take out the screen to begin to crawl out. suddenly i'm in a flowing moon-pale dress the color of a lunar moth. i sit at the ledge of my isolated roof once more, dangling my bare feet over the edge. i let down my long hair into the wind, now opposite;flowing into the night sky. the lonely magnolia tree glistens like a dark emerald, attracting my glare. the violet and white flowers wave at me in the wind. its stunningly beautiful outside...    suddenly i'm slightly thrown out of my trance, sensing something, or someone, watching me, gazing into my silvery eyes. could it be my angel again...? dare i look and ruin the surprise...? I feel safe as he lands aside me, and feathers glide over my shoulders and my back. warm and comfortable as always with him, i again rest my head against his arm as he protects me with his soft and almost invisible wing. safe again, i nap with my prince <3
    Later i awake in my bed, in his jacket still, and my eyes immediately draw to the feather on my bed sil, almost glowing in the dark of the now warm room..."

today’s mysterious sight <3

today as i made my way to the stairs, something caught my attention, i thought i saw flowers. i looked over the railing, it must have been a girl's blanket she was holding all rolled up. it wad green yellow and white fringes. so i continued to walk toward the stairs and when i turned around the corner turning to the stairs, i thought i saw something again. i looked around at the crowded commons and the rest of the floor beneath me, but nothing caught my eye again but a few patches where there weren't any people, more in particular the middle main double doors at the entrance where a large painted rock stand in front of the building. the other place that stood out just as evenly was the light lime green wall with writing on it. i never really pay much attention to what it said, i think it has the school name on it or something. normally there is a table by that outward rounded wall is left, but today there wasnt there. a faint yet vivid image passed through my head and mind as my heart seemed to float as i slowly made my way down the first two steps of the stairs. it felt like friday, rather than today. more importantly, this friday, the friday before spring break, a week of which i may have nothing to do during the day. my eyes glanced at the doors as i thought they opened. i felt as if they really did, but no one was there, nothing happened. my eyes gradually yet swiftly glided over to my right to gaze at the lime green wall again and that vision happened. i faint yet vivid, see through ghostly image of him. he was leaning up against the wall, he seemed to be becoming gradually more of a solid figure through the long seconds of the frozen moment. he was holding flowers, yellow daisies, a few orange and many white tigerlillies, and a few dark roses, all beautifully arranged in a bouquet with pale yellow paper as to represent brightness. normally i don't like yellow, but he knows how i love it with flowers.  he was looking around with his adoring eyes that i love so much. he was dressed really nice. i mean really nice. like right out of a storybook as always on sundays, but more date/prince-like. a true romantic indeed. but thats not what made him look so much more handsome and attractive than usual today. no, not at all. it was his slight smile, as if he were holding back his big bright wonderful smile that i fell in love with. he seemed to be hiding back blush and worry at the same time. he was trying to be calm. he seemed so casual leaning with his back against the pale lime wall with one hand in his pocket. but i saw through it. i felt his heart struggling not to race. it wasnt how he looked that made him stick out from the crowd, it was his love. our love. he seemed to glow to me. he always caught my eye right away and still does :) even though i knew this was probably either a small vision, flash forward, dream-flash, or simply my imagination from my heart and soul, i enjoyed and loved this moment so much <3

For My Angel <3

"i took a long nap today in the sunshine across my bed. i began to smell his cool skin's natural scent from when i would lay my head upon his arm. I felt safe, and not so alone anymore. i felt my heart's glow and pace. i dreamt and felt his presence beside me smiling at me curled up sleeping, and i felt a cool wind graze my arms, then i felt his silky skin's touch as he placed something cool yet warm over me and we smiled, even i through such sweet slumber. i smelled the summer-spring mixed air, the earth's essences and blades of grass between my fingers and bare blue toes. i dreamt us relaxing in the grass sprinkled with small growing white flowers and clover patches with few tuffs of it's blossoms. the air was cool yet the sun was warm and it shined upon our cheeks, and glistened off our eyes. i looked up at him gazing smiling into the sky as if he were praying, his aura glowed brightly, and i could’ve sworn his eyes were watered with his smile, i smiled brightly at him, and when he closed his eyes and nodded in the obscure direction, and he turned and looked at me, i shy-ed, blushed, and turned my head, but soon found myself gazing into his eyes again. he reached to me and pushed my hair behind my ears and smiled, i felt a happy tear start to roll down my cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb, and i lay back down beside him on his knees in the grass and rested my eyes, as i dozed i heard his voice whisper those old famous words he used to tell me everyday... "Soon Destiny,    soon..."    
           i then awoke in my bed again, with his jacket over me like a blanket, bittersweet tears began to flow gently for my longing heart and soul aching to be with my love again. missing him more that usual."
-a snippet of my story, a true story- For My Angel <3

love

and iv had my fair share of relationships, and i'v never loved anyone anywhere near as much as i love this guy. i dream of him so much, i sense him, i feel what he feels at times. we have a strong connection like that. at times i suddenly smell his scent. and when i pray i see him or us or i'll sense his presence with me. ii love this guy more than anyone could ever imagine. my last bf before him, and also cody a few relationships b4, out of all the relationships, i thought cody was my love, then i went to a normal relationship cuz he went to the marines, then when i started dating anthony , i thought for the longest time he was the one and it was 2x as great as it was with cody, but a little less, almost even. but with this man... it was more than i could ever imagine or dream, it blew the others out of the water! i dont even have a number for how many times greater it is with this guy I love so much now and forever more, no matter what. and  when i was with him, my life was litterally perfect, i was so happy, i never even imagined i could ever be that happy, it was a whole new feeling... it was like love was re-invented. like magic, like I was dreaming! no, better! no one can make me laugh like he can, no one can cheer me up or make me better no matter what like he can… no one glows like he does, no one else lights up like he does when he catches sight of me. no one makes me cry tears of love filled joy and joy filled love like he does. all my friends told me we had that super rare, only one or two couples in hightschool may have it, one-of-a-kind perfect-match spark and glow and when we were physically together it shined brighter. no one completes my like he does. and I complete him too. no one but God strengthens me like he does, no one strengthens my hope like he does. he’s perfect in every way even his imperfections are perfect. I love everything about him good and bad. no matter what I love him more than anyone, not even I, could ever imagine. it was like disney royalty love! theres been more “signs” than iv ever thought there would be and theres plenty more to come. the spark is sooo unimaginable! every now and then when I smell his scent out of no where or something I sense or feel or something he tells me, brings me to this complete bliss where I feel like im flying, no, hovering, relaxed, feeling like im flying in the sky and somethings holding me, like a cloud or and angels arms. and I feel his kiss and my nerves get chills and my back arches suddenly then I instantly melt completely and I feel that spark again. its always some less than the real thing, but lately its been getting stronger and stronger. I love him more and more everyday and every moment. even when we seperated the love continued to grow and we continued to find out more about how we matched so well. I keep finding out more and more of these ‘perfect for me’ qualities in him. I’v never been so determined in someone in my entire life. heck, I heven have very vivid dreams of us with kids, and us together and im pregnant, and us spending christmas together, and us enjoying each season, our fists of each major holidays living together, so many unexpected and unplanned dreams like those. and even a dream where he saved my life :), actuallly a couple, the last one he helped me complete and it was the best ever :’) and I have these dreams multiple times sometimes, Sleeping Beauty says, “if you dream something more than once, its bound to come true” he also has dreams about me. and sometimes he will suddenly smell me like when he’s playing the piano at church. so much more to tell but it would go on for pages more like a novel. I don’t know for sure if he’s the one, nut I sure believe it. my heart and my dreams tell me so. and when I pray the feelings and what I see hint to me. but I don’t KNOW for SURE. but…he’s my fallen guardian angel, that I know <3 and I thank the Lord for him and our love story everyday. I thank Him for his love and his friendship and his support. I thank Him for everything from him, I thank Him for him